los bike first ever malt liquor tasting

Introduction | Let The Tasting Begin | The Scores | Final Standings

`First Ever Malt Liquor Tasting`

17 October 1997
The Bat Cave

`Let the tasting begin`
`St. Ides Premium Malt Liquor` Place of manufacture: Detroit Color: Second-Day Urine Color Bottle: 40oz wide-mouth. twist off. Alcohol Content: none listed NOTE: Charlie Brown stripe on the back of the label.	"don't understand what palm trees have to do with Detroit. I think a better picture would be a car on cinder blocks or maybe a carjacking in progress - with a hooker in the background." "fruity aroma" "scent takes me back to Detroit" "highly carbonated" "dry - not much of an aftertaste" "I could serve chicken with this - this is almost a white wine" "turkey on wheat. thousand island dressing. light swiss" "thumbs up for St. Ides" "very pleasant drinking experience" "mad props"

`Colt 45 Malt Liquor` Place of manufacture: Detroit Color: Urine hue Bottle: 40 oz wide mouth Alcohol Content: not listed minimal labeling	"bitter" "bitter with a metallic aftertaste" "like I've been sucking on nickels" "your throat's saying 'no. don't send this down!'" "rough classic" "beer in the rough" "endorsed by Lando Calrisian" "the drink of the cloud city" "Boba Fett don't drink malt liquor" "neither does Chewbacca" "definitely wanted a palette cleanser after that" "Official drink of the palette cleanser association"

`Little Kings Cream Ale` Place of Manufacture: Cincinatti, OH Alcohol Content: 5.5% by volume Bottle: 40oz artillery shell NOTE: foamed up upon opening	"mad props 'cause it looks like an artillery shell" "active beer" (ed, on the foaming) "wow" "I don't see me totin' this around and breakin' shit" "bitter aftertaste" "smells like mustard. that's unusual. doesn't taste like mustard" "at least it doesn't taste like nickels" "very fine liquories in Cincinatti"

`Olde English Special 800 Reserve` `Lemon - Lime` Place of Manufacture: Milwaukee Bottle: 22 oz Alcohol Content: 6% by volume	"ghetto wine cooler" "mad props on the lemon lime" "smells kinda chemical" "same family as brass monkey" "cheap champagne" "tastes just like one-eyed jack" "good last beer of the night" "would you want to be seen drinking this alone?" "you want to have a bag around it" "not drinkable in large quantities" "that's a 2 cracker thing right there"

`Red Bull` Place of Manufacture: Detroit Bottle: 40oz wide mouth	"Stroh's spelled backward is shorts - as in 'filtered through my shorts'" "strong smell" "it looks bigger" "kinda cloudy looking" "definitely bad" "we don't like the Red Bull" "I'd rather drink the Colt 45 than this swill" "that's a disgrace to malt liquor" "are we gonna pour it on the lawn?" "no - i don't want to ruin my lawn" "not fit to waste the energy of puking it up" "definitely something they use in purgatory" "the brewing company has a P.O. box if that tells you anything" "comes in the handy 'beat down' bottle"

`Miller High Life` Bottle: 40oz artillery shell	"champagne of beers" "they had 40's in 1855?" "good after-ride drink" "good after-beer beer" "definitely not as dense" "definitely drinkable" "I think I'm gonna have to take a walk"
`HALF - TIME`
`Mickey's` Place of Manufacture: Detroit Bottle: 22oz twist off	"skunky odor" "our friends in Detroit are up to it again" "the finest brew out of Detroit is Schaefer's" "watery - yet a potent bad aftertaste" "there's something about that skunky taste that will keep you warm at night" "smells like it tastes" "does this mean we're gonna go blind?" "I'll always be attracted by the flying hornet"

`Olde English 800` Place of Manufacture: Milwaukee Bottle: 40oz wide mouth Charcoal Filtered	"Milwaukee is Indian for malt liquor" "smells not unlike my dirty laundry basket" "almost a honey taste" "it's old. it's english" "malt liquor has got to be an American invention - or an accident" "does anyone have faith in malt liquor?" "In Malt Liquor We Trust"

`Olde English 800 Reserve Mixed Fruit` Place of Manufacture: Milwaukee Alcohol Content: 6% by volume	"pleasant kool-aid smell" "almost a cranberry color" "I'm excited" "I could almost hammer a 6-inch spike" "wow" "this is a fine drinking ale" "it is sweet" "i like it" "this is far too sweet to drink in any real quantity" "you could serve this with a meal or something" "you could serve this with cookies to your nieces and nephews" "'uncle pat's kool-aid makes me dizzy'" "there's no problem in the world that malt liquor can't solve" "this is full of vitamins and minerals" "who could ask for anything more?" "it's got the hologram label" "good choice on the mixed fruit"

`And now for the scores...`