Dear Editor,

My name is Jessica Bigas. Yes the same Jessica that was "interviewed" by John Johnson in last week's Miner. In the past I have enjoyed reading the Missouri Miner from week to week and have on occasion read John's attempts at humour. His articles are normally pretty innocent and are generally no more than just a lame attempt at gaining attention. But last week's article was different.

Yes, John did in fact talk to me about Canada, but it was not until some time later that I found that his questions were in fact nothing more than "research" for one of his pitiful columns. I want to state right now that John's column was far from humourous. It was an insult to my native land and my people.

Canada, the 51st state indeed! I'll have you know that the U.S., as a whole, is nothing more to us Canucks than the 11th province. (Or is that the third territory?) And concerning John's little "facts" about Canada, well, I have a few facts of my own to share with you:

In 1812 the United States was defeated by Canadian Troops thanks to our national hero Laura Secord. How do you like that for "...overcoming many odds...?"

Ice is NOT Canada's major export! It's actually beer. I mean, seriously, do you people actually import ice? Now that's sad. Maybe you should take some ice-making lessons from the Canadians, eh?

So you "Americans" actually consider yourselves a "civilized" nation when you have to pay for your own health care? You want to talk about "fairy tale land", as John put it, look no further than the U.S. Health Care system!

And finally, on a side note, what's up with your pronounciation of the letter "Z"? What the heck is a "zee" anyway? Try "zed" and you might sound remotely educated. And speaking of education, I wont even begin to quote from a famous UMR Physics professor concerning the U.S.'s decrepid schooling system!

So the next time you sit down to enjoy one of John Johnson's humour columns usually found on page 8 of this paper, or visit his "funny" web site, just remember one thing: He's just another average American, and I'm "sorey", but that's not saying much, eh!

Jessica Bigas