Yeah, I've met this girl that's really in to the modern day environmental
movement, read "We'd hug the whole planet if only we could just stretch
our arms wide enough." Admittingly, she is the type that I used to make
fun of. The kind that, in the past mind you, that I would call a "granola
girl" or "tree hugger" or "Leave me alone you annoying enviro-freak and
let me eat my meat and throw away the wrapper right before I slaughter a
spotted owl."
Well maybe that last little misnomer was a bit extreme. But
I feel that I'm a changed man. Not so much because I feel the need to
save a whole planet, a la Independence Day: "The save the whole world
with a Macintosh and lots of annoying plugs for recycling." But
mainly because this girl is what some might describe as "really cute
chick" or "a babe." But again, I'm beyond such thinking. She's not a
babe. She's a liberated independent babe!
So lately I've found myself in a sort of Steven Segal movie existence.
You know:
Really cute liberated babe with Indian heritage: "Those evil corporate
republican warmongers are attempting to build an oil well on my ancestors
burial ground! And they also don't have a recycling program because
they're from Rolla."
Me (only buffer and I know martial arts): "Not on my shift!"
Babe: "I feel that I am one with my ancestors' burial ground"
(Long gratuitous sex seen)
Babe gets beat up.
Me: "They will pay for this! I'm going to recycle THEM!"
BOOOM! BAAAAANNNNNNG! (Lots of me breaking people's arms in graphic
detail) CRAAAACCKKK!
So anyways, me and the enviro girl walk of into the sunset with an oil
well burning behind us. Never mind the fact that the burning oil well is
going to do more damage than the original oil well, I got my woman!
So this has become my existence. I can't seem to throw away a can or even
waste paper (I've begun to use the space in the margin in hope of saving
a tree and impressing her!) Who knows, maybe I'll end up changing majors.
Don't they offer an environmental major now? Interesting....