To whom it may concern:

The subject of my email applies specifically to this week's edition of the Miner. I am a loyal Miner reader, and one of the things I always turn to first is that wonderful, witty, madcap column by that John Johnson guy--he's a hoot! I'm sure I don't need to tell you how depressing Rolla is. John Johnson's column is the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing I have to look forward to each week. Now even that small pittance has been wrenched from my over-stressed, clammy fingers. I don't know what I will do now.

I HOPE THAT IF THE SUICIDE RATE SKYROCKETS AS A RESULT OF THIS OVERSIGHT, YOU WILL MAKE PROPER RESTITUTION TO THE FAMILIES OF YOUR VICTIMS.

May God have mercy on your soul. I am sure none of your humor-loving readers will.

-- Keith Blackford

Dear Miner,

I was terribly disappointed to discover the one particular column I look forward to within each edition of the Missouri Miner was absent from the most recently printed edition. I did not think the exclusion of John Johnson's Humor column from this edition was very humorous. Do the editors not realize how excessively dependent some of its readers are upon his column? His unique and superior talent keep many of us sane and blissful upon this campus of constant academic turmoil. Especially at this crucial time as the semester is drawing to a close and professors are trying desperately to cram in that last test before finals, I would normally be curling up to a wonderful new edition of the Missouri Miner during one of my frequent study breaks. But, alas, I suppose I will just have to resort to the usual Heat Transfer book that so annoyingly occupies my time.

Please reconsider before dropping John Johnson's Humor Column in future editions of the Missouri Miner and realize that some of your most loyal readers are dedicated fans of his unbelievably witty columns. Thank you for your time and consideration.

--Lauri Starkweather

To whom it may concern,

i know you may believe you have a good reason for removing the humor column by john johnson from the miner, i on the other hand have good reason to bring it back. i believe that humor is good for all of mankind and especially those of us here at umr. john provided me and many others with loads of laughs, a break from the monotany. i have now decided to boycott the miner until the humor column is reestablished.

thanks

bb

Dear Miner:

There is one reason I pick up your paper every week... John Johnson's humor column. I think it's terrible that you didn't put it in. Did you forget? Was there something going on at this university that we'd rather see taking up space? I hope this trend of forgetting to put your paper's one redeeming article in doesn't continue.

Concernedly,
Elisa Armstrong

Dear Miner People,

Where is John Johnson's Humor Column? I think a horrible travesty has occured by forgetting to place John's column in the Miner. Please, if it was a mistake, then tell him. He needs the attention.

Sincerely,
Ben Peterson

John,
Since I'm only Editor in name now I can't really get myself involved in this too deeply (I gotta let Amy do her job now), but just outta curosity, did Jeff forget to put your article in this week? If he did I'm sorry to hear it. I really enjoy reading your article, it really brightens up Monday afternoons when I look over the paper in the office. I assumed this week when didn't see it that you hadn't written one.

Anyway, if you did turn one in I'd drop Jeff, the new Features Editor, a note and ask him about it. He isn't on the bounce yet so all the lovely letters that we've been getting (and I've noticed you've been getting from the cc's) aren't getting seen by him at all. His e-mail is leong@umr.edu

And remember, this is in no way a letter from the Miner (I can't send those anymore), this is a letter from me.

Doug

John -

What column? I never got one in...

If you have one, I need another copy - we'll be sure to get it in next week. In the meantime - we are getting swamped with your [readers'] e-mail - please let them know that it was a error of e-mail if nothing else and that we will get something in next week.

Thank you,

Amy

John -

First - let me apologize (which I don't think I did in my last message and should have) - regardless of fault here, I'm sorry we didn't get that in - if for no other reason than _I_ like to see it in there - let alone the rather devout following you have developed. =)

I do recall us having a conversation - but I was never sure what you wanted printed - since I always got everything seperate in addition to what is on the listserv, I suppose I was waiting for that to come in. Don't worry about your readers - it's nice to know that that many people pick up the paper each week! I wrote a little something to the people that have written us so far - just to let them know that it was not intentional.

Again - I am sorry for the mix-up - we would never intentionally leave your stuff out!

Thank you,

Amy